To Believe or Not to Believe, That is the Question
by KnightlyWordsmith
Summary: You've all read those Mary Sue stories. A helpless earthling falls into Middle Earth, and joins the Fellowship, gaining the attentions of a certain elven Prince in the process. Well, the same thing happened to me. The problem? I'm no Mary-Sue. First off my name is Gary.
1. A Danish Dilema

**A/N-**

I don't really have much to say here. This is more of an experiment than anything else to see if I can actually write humour.

**Disclaimer: **I'm only putting this here once, as I believe most people are aware that if I'm posting on this site, I clearly own nothing. So yes, I own nothing, and am doing this purely for the fun of it.

I hope you enjoy :)

* * *

"My father's brother, but no more like my father, than I to Hercules. What does this even mean?" Angrily Gary flung the book onto the table in front of him, much to the amusement of his friend who sat opposite of him.

Tyson grinned at him over his own copy of Hamlet, "It means that Hamlet thinks Claudius is worthless in comparison to his father," Tyson said, talking loudly to be able to be heard over the din of the cafeteria. The two were studying for an English test the next period, and needless to say it wasn't going well for Gary.

"Well, if that's the case then why couldn't he have just said that?" Gary bemoaned, picking the book up once more, in the hope that he'd be able to get something out of the text before the bell rang. "All of this ambient pantmeter makes everything so ridiculous."

Beside him, his other friend Cynthia raised her head from her book, and said wryly, "You mean 'iambic pentameter'?"

Gary raised his arms in frustration. "Whatever, either way I don't understand it and I'm going to fail English."

"You know you might do better if you ever actually picked up a book," she replied, turning back to the book she had in hand. Unlike the other two, she did not have a test coming up, so was instead burying her nose in a well-worn copy of Tolkien's _The Fellowship of the Ring_.

"Books are boring," Gary snorted.

"If you picked up a good book like this one you wouldn't be saying that." Cynthia waved the book in his face, grinning at his attempts to swat it away.

"All books are boring," Gary replied, rolling his eyes at her antics. "All reading is boring. Shakespeare is extra boring, _and_ confusing."

All too soon the bell rang, signalling the end to the lunch period. The three joined the rush of students departing the cafeteria for their classes. In the hall Cynthia bid the two boys good luck with their test, and left for Art.

As they walked toward English Gary felt his stomach begin to knot. This was not going to go well, it wasn't going to go well at all.

In the class the desks were lined up neat and orderly, with just enough space between them to make cheating off a friend difficult, Gary noted. Not that Gary was generally one to do such things, but English tests sometimes made him desperate. He hadn't been exaggerating earlier, if he didn't do well on this test he was going to fail the class.

Gary took his seat, and looked down at the test on the desk. As he began reading he could feel the knot in his stomach getting tighter and tighter. Lines swam before his eyes, but made no sense.

'Good Hamlet, cast thy nighted colour off, and...'

'Did coldly furnish forth the marriage tables...'

Squinting his eyes, Gary tried to focus and garner some meaning from the text, but it was no use. He stared at the page for a good five minuets, gaining nothing, before he gave up and slumped forward on the desk.

It was no use. He was going to fail.

He closed his eyes and the words reverberated through he mind. The scratching of the class' pencils grew distant, as the one phrase repeated over and over.

He was going to fail.

_He was going to fail._

_He was_ falling.

Gary's eyes flew open as he landed face first in the dirt. With a _whoosh_ air rushed out of his lungs, and he began gasping for breath. After a moment of wheezing air returned to his lungs and he could breath normal.

He was about to stand up and return to his seat he had somehow fallen out of, when he realized he had fallen face first in the _dirt_.

With a yelp he scrambled to his knees, only to get tangled in a swath of cloth that was certainly no part of the jeans and t-shirt he had been wearing moments before. Looking down at himself he yelped again, and tumbled backward, only barely catching himself with his hands before his head would have smashed into the ground.

He snapped his eyes shut and calmly counted to ten, allowing his breathing to return to normal. When he opened his eyes everything would be normal. He'd be back in class, sitting on the tiled floor, listening to the snickers of his classmates over his spectacular fall from his desk.

Slowly he peeked his eyes open, only to be met with the same bright sun and grassy clearing that certainly was not part of his English classroom. Looking down at himself, he was still clothed in a pale green dress, yes _dress_, and not his usual attire. He felt his breathing start to accelerate once more, but he forced himself to calm down, knowing that panicking would only make things worse.

_There has to be a rational explanation to this, _he thought to himself, _there has to be. Maybe I'm dreaming._

Three pinches on the arm later and he concluded that he was not in fact dreaming.

He looked around himself, hoping against hope to find an answer to where he was and what exactly was going on. He was in the middle of a small glade dotted with wild flowers and surrounded by towering trees. A small brook cut through the clearing, and passed beside him, before disappearing into the trees beyond.

"Well, what now Gary?" He asked himself aloud.

Carefully he stood, feeling the skirts of the dress brush uncomfortably around his shins. Hiking the dress up ridiculously high to make it easy to walk, he turned and walked to the brook. He glanced down and what he saw there caused a third unmanly shriek to escape his lips, before he fell unceremoniously on his rump.

Nervously, hoping that what he saw was just a trick of the light, but in truth knowing it wasn't, he crawled forward and looked into the water once more. The reflection that stared back at him was his own, but it didn't look normal.

Whereas normally he kept his hair cropped short, just above the ears, he now had curly locks that nearly brushed his shoulders. What was more, his hair was usually a dark, nondescript, brown and it was now several shades lighter and layered with reddish highlights.

Not only that, his usual hazel eyes were now an unnatural shade of green, and his face had taken on softer, more delicate features.

The change in hair and facial features, coupled with the lacy green dress he was wearing, gave him a much more feminine appearance than he was comfortable with. In a moment of panic his hands flew up to his chest, and he was instantly relieved.

"At least that's still normal," he said, as he felt a familiar flatness.

Gary rocked back on his heels, trying to make sense of what was going on. He had been in English class, writing a test. Now he found himself in the woods, wearing a dress, and with a hair style modelled off of Paris from the movie _Troy_.

Deciding that sitting still was getting him nowhere, and answering none of his questions on what was happening, he stood up once more. Hiking his skirts up, he prepared himself to set off into the woods. Following the stream seemed like a good idea, that way he could keep some sense of direction, so he strode along next to the brook and entered the woods.

Despite pulling the dress nearly up to his waist, Gary was finding it exceedingly difficult to make progress through the woods. The dress kept snagging on branches, or slipping out of his arms and tangling itself around his legs.

As the cloth began slipping from his arms once more, he began to wonder what would ever compel a woman to wear such an impractical piece of clothing. At that same moment his foot caught the edge of a root sticking up from the ground.

He would have been sent flying into the ground once again that day, had a pair of strong arms not come out of nowhere and caught him.

"My lady, are you alright?"

Gary realized that things were about to get a whole lot weirder, as he looked up into the face of a blond haired man, who bore a striking resemblance to Orlando Bloom.

* * *

**A/N-**

So, there we have it, the first chapter.

If you hadn't noticed already this is a parody where I am attempting to make fun of the usual Sue traits, but with a twist as our poor Gary is the one to suffer under them.

I hope you enjoyed it and would love any feedback you're willing to give. I'm always trying to improve my writing so constructive criticism is the best :)


	2. The Name's Gargandergimlasy

**A/N- **Here we have the next instalment in Gary's journey.

I think I should mention now that this will be following the movie-verse more so than the book verse, just incase anyone is wondering.

* * *

"WAAAAAAARGGGGHHHHH!"

Gary reeled back from the Bloom wannabe, only to crash backward into a tree. Looking around frantically he realized there were more people around him, all who seemed vaguely familiar. Ned Stark, who seemed to die in everything, Magneto wearing a wizard's hat and Elijah Wood in miniature, to name a few.

"Oh, no, no, no , this is _not_ happening." Gary waved his hands in front of his face as if this would dispel the images before him and cause them all to disappear. Skirting around the tree, he backed away, trying to put as much distance between himself and the group of people.

"Now what is this?" Barked a gruff voice behind him, and Gary turned around to find a short, heavily bearded man brandishing a wicked looking ax.

Yelping again as he found his only escape route blocked he began pinching any part of exposed skin he could find. It still did not wake him up.

"This is not real, _they're_ not real!" Gary muttered to himself, a note of hysteria entering his voice. "These people don't exist. They're just characters in a book!"

Despite his relentless pinching the Fellowship of the Ring did not disappear. Gary may not have been much of a reader, but even he could recognize the iconic group of men, hobbits, an elf, a dwarf, and a wizard.

"I want to go home! I want to go back to English! Hamlet's mom wants him to get over his father's death!" He wailed.

The Fellowship watched his outburst with a mix of confusion and apprehension. Swords were half drawn, and weapons ready to be brandished in the event that the person before them proved to be a threat, but for the moment they quietly observed his outburst.

"Do you think perchance she hit her head?" Ned Stark asked aloud.

At the sound of his voice Gary abruptly stopped his pinching and rounded on the Gondorian. In the movement the skirts of the dress he was wearing tangled his legs and he once more found himself sitting in the dirt.

"_She_?" He raged on the ground, the note of hysteria having now fully taken over his voice. "Her head? I'm a man I tell you a _man_! Man as in guy, dude, of the opposite sex of females!"

The looks of surprise that crossed the faces of the Fellowship were not lost on Gary. The short, stocky, bearded one, leaned in closer and peered at him intently. "Why he's right," he exclaimed after a moment's scrutiny. "What in the name of Middle Earth are you wearing a dress for lad?"

"Er..." Gary's panic attack was cut short and he stared blankly at the dwarf, no answer coming to mind.

"That is not important at the moment Gimli," said the other man to the dwarf. Turning to Gary he said, "If you be a man tell us your name and purpose in these parts." Gary would have been relieved now that he was saved from explaining his attire, if the man's words were not overshadowed with him fingering his sword hilt threateningly.

"Eh..." _Think Gary think! _He mentally ordered himself. _Your name! Start with your name!_

"Gar-" _Wait, Gary's too modern. Maybe I should go with something that sounds Middle Earthen. _

"Gand-" _Gandalf! No! That's the old man's name! _

"...er..." _What else sounds medieval?_

"Gim-" Gary cringed. That was the dwarf's name.

He was all too aware of the growing suspicion of the Fellowship as he stumbled over what should have been an easy answer. _Quit while you're behind Gary_. Sputtering out the first few syllables that came to mind he ended with, "Lasy."

"Gargandergimlasy?" The man's brows knit heavily together. "Your name is Gargandergimlasy?"

Gary started at him blankly for a moment, before hurriedly nodding. "Uh, yeah, Gargandergimlasy. That's me." _Brilliant Gary, simply _brilliant_._

"Now are you going to explain why you are out here tramping around in the woods, wearing a woman's clothing?" Gimli asked.

Gary glanced down at himself. The green dress, with its lace and frills had been taking a bit of beating from his trekking through the woods and his continuous falling. How was he supposed to explain this?

He wasn't prepared to tell this group of heavily armed men that'd he'd somehow crossed into a fantasy world where they were all fictional characters, and for reasons unknown, he did so in drag. Maybe though, keeping a bit of the truth wouldn't hurt.

"Honestly, I don't know," he began, thinking up a story as he went. "I was asleep in my house, and then the next thing I know I wake up in a clearing back there, wearing this. Now I have no idea where I am, or who you are, and I'm more than a little freaked out."

"You are lost then," Orlando said, and Gary turned to see the elf smiling kindly down at him. "Perhaps we can help you return home."

"Legolas, we do not have time for detours," the dark haired man cut the elf off, his voice firm.

"I only meant if it was not too far," Legolas amended. Tuning back to Gary he asked, "Where is it that you live?"

"Urm," Gary bit his lip. _Simple question Gary, _he mentally growled, _simple question!_

"By the sea," Gary came out with the first thing that came to his mind.

"By the sea?" The look of incredulity on the elf's face told Gary that, 'by the sea' was not the best answer.

"In that case you are a far ways from home," the man said. Though the words were for Gary, he was looking at the elf.

"Aragorn, surely we cannot leave him here," the elf countered.

"Yes, let's go with what he said," Gary said earnestly. "Let's not leave me all alone."

Aragorn was about to protest, but the sound of someone clearing their throat cut him short. The wizened old man stepped forward. Peering down at Gary, Gandalf said, "You're a long way from home, aren't you my boy?"

Gulping, Gary nodded. _You don't know the half of it buddy. _

"Hm, but do you know what you're asking, by requesting we take you with us? Our road is not for the faint of heart." Gary nodded in understanding.

Though the dark haired man had a certain aura about him that signified him as a leader, Gary had the impression that it would be the old man's judgement that was referred to in times of question. He radiated knowledge. He was the one he'd need to convince to take him along.

"Gandalf, we do not even know if we can trust him, and as you yourself said our journey is dangerous," Aragorn cautioned. "Certainly you cannot be considering taking him with us?"

Gandalf looked at the man, and of all things Gary thought he saw a hint of amusement in his eyes. "Why, I most certainly was considering just the thought Aragorn. Don't you think it's curious that he just happens to appear here, so close to us?" He asked thoughtfully.

"Suspicious is more like it," Ned Stark interjected.

"Or fateful," the elf suggested.

_Or simple bad luck,_ Gary grumbled to himself.

"Whatever the reason, and whether he be friend or foe, I believe it would not be wise to leave him here," Gandalf said. "Logically, that only leaves us with one option, to take him with us. At least until we unravel the mystery as to why he is here."

"I do hope you know what you are doing, Gandalf," Aragorn sighed. He relaxed his grip on his sword, and offered his hand to Gary. "If it is your wish to come with us, then you are welcome to Gargandergimlasy."

Cringing mentally at the mouthful of a name he'd created for himself, Gary quickly tried to remember all he knew about the Lord of the Rings. He knew the basic story. A short guy was given an evil ring that he had to drop in a volcano to save the world. In the end the good guys won, but aside from that he couldn't recall any particulars. He'd only ever seen the first film, and part of the second, but even those memories were clouded. In any case, joining their journey seemed the better option than wandering the woods alone and lost.

"Call me Gary for short," Gary said, and gripped the offered hand. As he was pulled to his feet he wondered what exactly he had just gotten himself into.

* * *

**A/N-** Every Sue needs a ridiculous name don't they?

I hope you guys enjoyed reading this a much as I enjoyed writing it! You all know how to let me know ;)

I don't know when the next chapter will be up, I'm not the most consistent writer, but I will try my best to get the next one out before too long :D


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